Some of the most useful parenting advice doesn’t come from books.

It comes from other parents who’ve actually lived it.

The honest, practical, slightly chaotic truths that you wish someone had handed you before you brought your baby home.

So, no fluff. No pretending the newborn stage is always magical.

Just the real stuff I wish I’d known.

Some of the most useful parenting advice doesn’t come from books.

It comes from other parents who’ve actually lived it.

Feeding: Prepare for It to Take Over

If you’re breastfeeding, set up a feeding station before you sit down.

Think water, snacks, your phone charger, the TV remote and anything else you might want within reach.

Because once you’ve started feeding, you may be there for a while.

In the early weeks, feeds can feel incredibly frequent and sometimes seem to take forever. Your newborn is learning how to feed, your body is learning how much milk to make, and you’re both figuring it out together.

It can feel relentless.

But it does get easier.

A few things I wish I’d known:

• Leaking is completely normal. Get some breast pads and comfortable maternity bras sorted before you desperately need them.
• Your baby may fall asleep during feeds. Both of mine did this, and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong.
• If you want to introduce a bottle, don’t feel pressured to wait. If you’re hoping to combination feed or introduce expressed milk or formula, talk to your midwife or health visitor about what might work for you and your baby.
• When your milk comes in, your breasts can feel incredibly hard, full and uncomfortable. This is called engorgement and is common in the early days. Feeding frequently and expressing a small amount for comfort can help. A warm shower or warm cloth before a feed may also help milk flow. (⁠nhs.uk)
• Ask for help if breastfeeding is painful or you’re struggling. You don’t have to figure it all out alone. A midwife, health visitor or breastfeeding specialist can check positioning and attachment and help you find a solution. (⁠nhs.uk)

And if breastfeeding isn’t for you, that’s okay too. Feeding your baby can look different for every family.

Sleep… Or the Lack of It

Let’s be honest.

Newborn sleep can be brutal.

You might spend what feels like an entire evening trying to get your baby to sleep, only for them to wake up five minutes after you’ve finally put them down.

It can make you wonder whether you’re doing something wrong.

You’re not.

Newborns need a lot of help regulating themselves, and settling can take trial and error.

Rocking, shushing, cuddling, feeding, gentle movement, a walk or using a baby carrier can all become part of your toolkit.

A few things that may help:

• A baby carrier or sling can be a lifesaver when your baby wants to be held constantly.
• Blackout blinds can be useful, particularly as your baby’s day/night pattern develops and daytime naps become more established.
• A dim, warm-toned nightlight can make night feeds easier if you prefer not to switch on a bright light.
• You will adapt to broken sleep. Not because it suddenly becomes enjoyable, but because humans are remarkably adaptable.

There may be nights where you genuinely wonder how you’re going to function the next day.

And somehow, you do.

Newborn Behaviour That Feels Alarming — But Often Isn’t

Newborns are weird.

In the best possible way.

They grunt. They squeak. They pull strange faces. They make noises that can have you reaching for your phone to Google “is this normal?” at 3am.

A lot of this is simply part of being a newborn.

Things that surprised me:

• Newborns can be incredibly noisy sleepers. Grunts, squeaks and little noises are common.
• Crying during nappy changes is common, particularly in the early weeks.
• The umbilical cord stump can take a couple of weeks to fall off. Keep the area clean and dry and follow the advice you’ve been given by your midwife or health visitor.
• The evening can be particularly difficult. Many babies have a period where they seem harder to settle and cry more.
• Crying often increases during the first weeks of life. If you’re worried about your baby’s crying or anything else about their behaviour, speak to your health visitor, GP or other healthcare professional.
• Growth spurts can make feeding feel constant. There may be days when it genuinely feels like all you’ve done is feed your baby.
• Some babies take to dummies immediately. Others absolutely do not. Don’t panic if your baby isn’t interested. Neither of mine ever took to them!
• Some weight loss after birth is normal. Your baby’s healthcare team will monitor their weight and feeding and let you know if there are concerns.

What about trapped wind and colic?

Products containing simeticone, such as Infacol, can be used in babies, including newborns, but evidence that simeticone actually improves colic is limited. If you’re considering it, follow the product instructions and speak to your pharmacist, health visitor or GP if you’re unsure. (⁠nhs.uk)

And remember: you don’t have to try every product someone recommends on Facebook.

Sometimes babies are simply babies.

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The Emotional Side: No One Warns You Enough

This might actually be the most important section.

Because everyone talks about the sleepless nights.

Not enough people talk about how you might feel.

You can love your baby more than you ever thought possible and still feel completely overwhelmed.

You can feel grateful and exhausted.

Happy and tearful.

Excited and terrified.

Sometimes all within the same hour.

Things that are more normal than people realise:

• Feeling emotional after birth is common. Your hormones are changing, you’re exhausted and you’ve just had your entire life turned upside down.
• Feeling frustrated sometimes doesn’t make you a bad mum. You’re human. You’re tired. And newborns can be incredibly demanding.
• You are not a bad mum because you’re finding it hard.
• You might feel jealous of your partner. Especially if you’re breastfeeding and they’re somehow sleeping through the night while you’re up every few hours.
• Your partner might feel envious too. Your baby may seem completely obsessed with you in those early weeks, particularly if you’re feeding them. Neither feeling means there’s something wrong with your relationship.
• Comparison will creep in. Someone else’s baby will sleep longer. Someone else’s baby will feed perfectly. Someone else’s house will look suspiciously tidy.
• Remember: you’re seeing a tiny snapshot of somebody else’s life.
• Nobody really knows what they’re doing at first. You’re learning your baby in real time — what they like, what settles them, how they feed and what their different cries mean.
• The first few weeks can be incredibly hard. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re doing a bad job.

And if your emotions feel overwhelming, persistent or frightening, please speak to your GP

Want more practical support for those first few weeks? Explore our newborn guides from Parent Formula.